


A Small Price to Pay

by hunters_retreat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, M/M, Mentions of Character Deaths (from an alternate timeline), Sam in an angel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 20:03:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4800482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Samuel was an angel who should never have been.  He was supposed to become the Morningstar and fight at the end of days against his brother, Michael to determine the fate of all humanity.  What happens though when a child changes that fate?  When Sam makes a choice to save his brother from the life he should have lived, everything is different.  Different, but how can Samuel stay away from the man that his brother has become?  How can he stand aside when he knows he can make a difference in Dean’s life, the way his brother had for him in a life not lived?  And what happens when Destiny tries to take another swing at the Winchester boys?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Small Price to Pay

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the spn_reversebang challenge. I was so amazing lucky this year because I managed to get to work with an amazing artist and friend, mangacat201! In all our years of friendship here we haven't collaborated together before so it was a great surprise to find I'd claimed her work! The video is amazing and it gave me a great jumping off point for this story. Please go give her love for this video and make sure you watch it BEFORE you read the story :P 
> 
> [The Video: Angels are Watching Over you](http://mangacat201.livejournal.com/79262.html)

 

 

There were moments in time that decided fate.  Angels watched those moments with awe and reverence because even to them God’s plan was mysterious and wondrous to behold.  As watched as the event was, no one knew how the Winchester Destiny ended as it did.

In God’s wisdom, he created children with their curiosity and capacity to learn so that their minds, so recently brushed with heaven, did not have the ability to retain the true potential and greatness that they held.   Someday, some believed, the human race would rise above the sins of the flesh to see what their minds truly were.  Angels had time to watch it unfold though as the human race seemed to enjoy lingering in its dark age of violent games and fleshy rewards.

What happened with the Winchester Destiny, was then, unexpected and dangerous to the whole of existence.  As his mother gave her life in defiance of the demon who tried to claim his soul, Samuel Winchester, the boy who was destined to bring about the apocalypse, looked into his own mind and saw the truth.  Not of his mother’s death or his own fate, but the whole of existence.

Samuel Winchester saw all that was to come, every decision he would make, and chose a route none could foresee.  Samuel Winchester, at six months of age, reached the awareness the human race could not.  His mother was dead already but the child, who should someday grow to be the Boy King, wrapped himself and the demon Azazel in flame so strong they both burned along with her.

Azazel’s plan to bring about the release of Lucifer and the rise of Michael had fallen and heaven was lost.  Dean Winchester became a child of fire, a man of influence and control but with no Destiny.  Without his foretold path the boy was a danger.  He was truly an agent of free will and the angels feared him above all.

The angels would have sealed Dean’s fate as they had Mary, daughter of Samuel and Deana, but no one expected Samuel, their babe of power with no fate, to grow into the body he had beheld.  No one expected Samuel Winchester to become his brother’s guardian angel.  
There was no one in heaven strong enough to naysay him.  If God opposed Samuel’s will, there was no word so the angels watched, powerless and weeping at their shame until the day would come when Dean Winchester became a threat they could kill or a man no longer tied to fate.

**

“You’re better than all this,” Samuel whispered softly.  It didn’t take much to wake Dean Winchester and the last thing the angel wanted was to cause the young hunter suspicion.  He’d been laying the foundation for years to send the Winchester boy out of the dangerous path that had been set before him.  Though his Destiny was gone, Dean was still a man that the supernatural would heed.  It was in his blood, in his very spirit, and Samuel wanted more than a hunter’s burial pyre for the man who had once been his brother.

“If you went to college, you could still hunt on breaks, help when they had need, but you could find ways to improve the hunt.  Ways to make the life easier for hunters.  A lawyer to see them to a fair trial.  An engineer to find new ways to kill or contain monsters from a safe distance.  A weapons designer that found new ways to improve what was available to suit the needs of the community.  You could be anything, Dean.  The legacy of your mother and brother should not be another hunter’s grave, but a way to save lives and better the world.  Revenge is not a way of life.”

“Samuel.”

Samuel turned quickly to face the other angel.  It happened sometimes, when the nights were long and Samuel spent too much time at his brother’s side.  The other angels didn’t like that Samuel had once been human.  In the dark, they called him the mongrel angel and their relations to him face to face weren’t much better.

“Castiel.”

“You would do better to remember that he is no longer your brother.”

“And you are?” Samuel asked.  Castiel had never spoken like that before and he wondered about it, about who had been speaking to Castiel.  The other angel knew the future that Samuel had seen.  Samuel wasn’t sure if Castiel kept an eye on Dean – and Samuel – because he knew or in spite of it.   Though Samuel had not actually lived that life, he could remember what might have been and Castiel had been a friend to him when the other angels wanted to smite him from existence.  More than that, Castiel had been a friend to Dean when he’d had no one else.  Samuel loved him above all other angels for that.

“Yes, I am.”

Samuel smiled.  “Then you should remember that your brother is often irrational and overly emotional when it comes to the brother of his human form.”

“Which is why I am here, quietly speaking with you and not calling you back to Heaven.”

“There is no work for me there, Castiel.  I am the angel that should never have been.  I was only supposed to be a vessel for the Morningstar but when my body burned it remained true to that angelic form.  What should I do then?  Listen to the rambling chatter of the worker drones?”

“You should think better of your brothers.”

“I have two brothers, Castiel; one of flesh and one of the spirit.  The other angels are like the crazy cousins you never wanted to visit over the holidays.”

“Samuel, you make no sense.”

Samuel smiled because he wasn’t sure Castiel had ever walked with humans long enough to truly understand them.  He tried though and that was enough.

“Was there a reason to summon me, Castiel?  Or did you simply want to sneak in and watch him?”

Castiel looked down at Dean before he looked back up.  “The others believe you are interfering too much in his life, Samuel.  You take on the act of guardian angel but you are directing his thoughts.”

“I’m just whispering encouragement.”

“He is supposed to be a hunter.”

“No, he was supposed to be the Michael Sword.  Since I am no longer bound to the Morningstar, he is not bound to that life either.  John Winchester’s life was set when his beloved wife died but my death changed what Dean’s life could be.  There is no shame in helping him step away from the Destiny that is no longer his.”

“And if he chooses to remain a hunter?”

Samuel brushed a hand over Dean’s face and smiled as the young hunter turned into his touch.  “Then angels and demons should fear him, for he will vanquish any wrongdoers.”

“He is human Samuel, he poses no threat to us,” Castiel’s voice was steady but Samuel knew the angel better than that.  They might not see Dean as a threat to them, but he was a threat to the grand plan of the Almighty and that worried them all plenty.

Samuel laughed as he wrapped an arm around Castiel and took them away from the motel the Winchesters were residing in.  “Oh Castiel, if only you could see what I have seen.  You would fear him for the right reasons.”

**

Samuel never let the other angels pressure him away from Dean.  They tried to bribe him, to cajole him, to threaten and force his hand, but Samuel remained at his brother’s side.  Some angels were kind to him.  Castiel was a true friend and Naomi, to Samuel’s surprise, looked at his love of Dean as a blessing.  She had tried to kill Dean in another life, but he realized in time that Naomi had acted for what she felt were the right reasons and not out of fear or hatred of Dean.

When Dean left college, six months away from his degree but the restless need to be on the road, Samuel watched him with a string of women he met along the way.  When he ran into Lisa Braeden at a bar, Samuel was ready to throw himself into the path to make sure Dean found her.

Lisa made Dean think of a future and for a while Samuel thought his brother would be free of the blood and gore than had been his younger life.  Right until John Winchester called.

Samuel sat back in the tree line.  He’d found his human form was less easy to track for his angelic siblings and they were less likely to bother him when he wanted to be left alone.  He watched as the gravel road kicked up dust.  When the car stopped, Dean stepped out of the impala with a frown.  Sam wondered if it was the meeting with John of the dust on the impala that had him in a bad mood.

Dean didn’t bother to walk over to the black truck that sat in wait on the side of the cross road.  Instead he moved to the front of the car and leaned back on the hood to wait for his father to meet him there.  The days were long gone when Dean was welcomed into John Winchester’s company with open arms.

“Dean,” his father said as he stepped out of the monster of a truck he’d started driving lately.

“Dad.  You said this was important.  What’s going on?”

“I know I haven’t been-”

“Cut the crap, Dad.  What do you need?”

John’s eyes tightened and Samuel waited to see if Jon reeled in his temper or if he reacted to the way Dean cut him off.  John let out a deep breath though and Samuel was amazed at the two men.  He knew how hard their relationship was.  Unlike the brother Samuel had grown up with, this Dean had left the hunt behind and his relationship with John was as rocky as Samuel’s had been.  In this life though, John had tried to breech the gap between him and his only son.  Dean had been the one to resist.

“Something is happening, Dean.  We know Azazel is dead but it’s started again.”

 “What’s started?”

“Fires in the nursery at six months old.”

“If it’s not Azazel, what is it?”

“I think another demon is trying to complete whatever the yellow-eyed bastard started.”

“What the hell?  Why now?”

“I don’t know but I need help Dean.  I can’t let this go.  I can’t let someone else go through what we did.”

“I know.  Jesus, I know Dad.”  He let out a deep breath and ran his hand over his face.  “I still have nightmares about that night,” Dean confessed.  Samuel had never heard him speak of the night of his death and John’s eyes widened in surprise as well.  “When I came into the room.  I didn’t see Mom.  I know what you said happened, but I came into the room and Sammy,” Dean let oua shaky breath before he continued.  “Sammy looked straight at me.  For a second all I could see what him and then, fire.”

“Dean-”

“So, I’m in.  Whatever this is has to stop.”

“What about Lisa and Ben?  Are you going to tell her Dean?  You can’t … you can’t go back and forth.  You know what happens to hunters who do this part time.  This is the long game.”

“I know Dad.  She knows about what I do.  I just … I need to talk to her.”

“I wouldn’t have called you in if it wasn’t important, Dean.  You made your choice and I’ve tried to respect that.”

“I know.  I just … hell Dad.  How could I have thought it was something like this?”

John seemed to understand because he walked closer and dropped a hand on Dean’s shoulder.  He didn’t say anything for a minute but when he did it was back to business.  “We need to head to Salvation, Iowa.”

Dean nodded.  “Lead the way, Dad.  I’ll talk to Lisa when we stop tonight.”

“She gonna be okay?”

Dean let out a deep breath.  “She’s stronger than I am,” he said with a half laugh.  Samuel wanted to stop them, to keep Dean from returning to the hunting life but he knew if someone was indeed making more of Azazel’s special children than Dean would get involved.  Nothing he said or did could stop that.  Lisa would understand.  Samuel knew that.  He knew that she’d wait for Dean to return, but his brother never would.  The hunt would consume his life and Dean would cut his ties to the normal world to make sure nothing came back on them.  It was what his brother did.

“She and Ben will be fine.  At least until I can get home to them.”

Dean didn’t say that it wasn’t likely he’d ever go home.  Neither John nor Dean had any dealings with demons and they had no idea what they were about to jump into.  It was how they’d always hunted though and Samuel knew that if Dean died to protect another family from the loss he’d felt at his brother’s death, he would consider it a death well won.

Samuel just had to make sure it didn’t come to that.

**

“What the hell are you supposed to be?”

Blue eyes turned black as the woman in front of Dean smiled.  “Just your local welcome wagon.  Seems like you’ve been making trouble, Dean Winchester.”

“And you decided to slit some demon throats with a magic demon-killing knife to introduce yourself?”

The blond demon smiled at Dean and Samuel had to rein in his instinct to throw himself between Dean and the demon.

“Yeah.  Because I’m all sweetness like that.  I’m Ruby.  Unlike these other mutts, I want to help you.”

“Right.  You want to help me kill demons.”

The demon looked at the knife in her hand, still dripping with demon blood and held it out towards Dean, hilt first.  “You’re trying to stop something that should never have been started.  You might not trust me, and frankly I couldn’t care less, but I don’t want the damn apocalypse any more than you do.”

“And I should just trust your word?”

She smiled as she took a step back.  “See you around Winchester.  You don’t have to trust me, but I’ve got your back.  You’ll see.”

 

**

Samuel watched as the hunter walked away from the demon at his table.  It was an uneasy truce between the two and it sickened Samuel to see his brother fall for her lies as easily as Sam might have.  Samuel remembered how well Ruby had used him though, used them both to tie their fates even closer to the apocalypse.  Without Sam to care for, Dean had grown far too careless of his own safety.  John Winchester’s quest to stop demons had become Dean’s fight, though Samuel had hoped to turn his path.  Dean had gone to college and he’d even lived with a woman for a few years but Dean couldn’t forget his family’s legacy of blood and he feared leading the people he loved to the same fate.

Samuel turned his attention back to the demon and watched the way Ruby subtly drew a small knife out of her pocket.  She unsheathed it just enough to knick her thumb on the blade and Samuel watched, horrified, as she held her bleeding thumb over the neck of Dean's beer bottle.  No one notices anything and Dean wouldn't either, not until it was too late.  Sam wasn't sure if she'd poisoned Dean that way before but if she had there wasn't enough of a taint on his soul to feel it yet.  There was time to stop Dean before he took the path that had once been laid out for Sam.

Without more than a moment to consider the implications, Samuel opened himself to the human experience and allowed himself to walk the world.  Memories of another life grounded him or he would have been lost in the sights and sounds and sensations of the mortal form he chose.  Dean wouldn't know Samuel, but Samuel remembered what he would have looked like.  He remembered years of looking into the mirror, into fox-like eyes and wondering why he was never good enough, or fast enough, or strong enough to protect those he loved.  To wonder why it was always Dean sacrificing himself instead of Sam.

He stood proud in his frame and walked with purpose that had often been muddled in his human existence.  Dean approached the demon, shots in hand, and Samuel remembered how to play human games well enough for this.  As Dean raised the shot to his lips, Samuel walked past the table and slipped.  His arms flailed wide and he spilled both bottles on the table, forcing the demon up out of the booth.

"Oh, man, I'm so sorry.  I can't believe I did that," he said, giving Dean his best smile.  His 'otherness' in the realm of angels had always made his brothers and sisters uncomfortable but he hoped it was enough to keep the demon from being able to sniff out what he was.

"Watch it, asshole," the blond haired demon spat at him.

She turned to walk away before Samuel could say anything and Dean let her go.

"Wow, I’m really sorry.  I'm such a clutz," he added as he reached for some napkins and tried to clean the table for them.

"Don't worry about it man.  One too many?" he asked with a kind smile.

Samuel shrugged.  “A clutz and a light weight.  Not a great combination.”

Dean laughed and after he looked over his shoulder to where the demon had walked out for front door he smiled at Samuel.  “Looks like I lost my companion.  Care for a drink?’ Dean asked.

“Yeah, sounds good.”  He followed Dean to the bar then and couldn’t help but smile at his luck.  He wasn’t sure what Ruby hoped to accomplish by giving Dean demon blood but there were a number of ideas in Samuel’s head that the other angels wouldn’t believe.  They didn’t know Ruby the way he did though and he was just grateful he’d been able to get rid of her that easy tonight.

Dean handed him a beer and a shot and Samuel downed the shot quickly.  They clicked the necks of the beer bottles together in a way Sam remembered from too many times in his other life and when Dean smiled at him, he smiled back.

“You from around here?” Dean asked as he settled with his back to the bar.

Samuel recognized the move as Dean’s need to keep an eye on the door and he took another drink of his beer to keep from grinning larger.  “Just passing through.  I had to see about some things in town.  Just about time to move on though.  I think someone else took care of business for me.”

It was an attempt at subtlety but he’d never been good at it in life and he wasn’t sure being an angel had helped in that aspect.  
“Really?” Dean asked.  “Too bad.  Seems like a nice enough town.”

Samuel nodded.  “So you’re not from here either?”

Dean shook his head.  “Passing through.”

“You don’t,” Samuel watched Dean closely as he spoke, “happen to drive a black impala?”

Dean straightened and Sam held his hands up quickly.  “Nice car.  And nice work.  Caught the finale but I didn’t get here in time to lend a hand.”

“You are?”

He could see Dean’s suspicion rising but there was never a point when Samuel would be able to mention being a hunter without it.  “Sam Wesson,” he said with a grin.  He had thought about taking on his mother’s name but the Campbells were still out there somewhere and if they ever met up Samuel didn’t want to have to backtrack.  Besides, even if Dean didn’t remember Sam Wesson, Samuel remembered the incident with humor now.  In his human life he had been unable to appreciate the changes in his brother, but in his angelic life he couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Dean as he’d been in that life.

“Dean Winchester,” Dean answered as he held a hand out for Samuel to shake.

He took the hand and Dean watched him for a moment before he took another pull off his beer.  “So you bumping into my table wasn’t just a coincidence?”

“That, yeah.  Honest clutz.  I wasn’t in the bar by coincidence though.  I saw your car out back and thought I’d see if I could meet the owner.  I don’t … I’ve never run into anyone else in our line of work.  The man who showed me the ropes passed away last month and I never had the occasion.”

“Who?” Dean asked.

Samuel let out a sigh as he thought of the hunter.  He’d planned his alias quickly but thoroughly.  The hunter in mind was someone Dean knew by reputation but nothing more.  “Daniel Elkins.”

“Sorry man.  From what I hear, he was one of the good ones.”

“A bit obsessive, but we all have our obsessions, right?”

Dean smiled at that.  “True enough.”  Dean’s eyes caught on the tables in the back and Samuel watched as Dean nodded back.  “You any good at pool?”

“I play well enough.”

“Just well enough?”

“Well enough to keep me in business,” Samuel confessed.

He might not always have enjoyed the life of a hunter but Samuel had excelled in the business.  When Samuel was older, he’d enjoyed playing pool with Dean.  When they hustled Samuel felt connected to Dean in ways that he didn’t truly understand.  He wanted to.

Dean laughed and when he put a hand on the small of Samuel’s back and led him back to the pool tables, Samuel felt a shiver of excitement run up his spine.

 

**

“This has gone far enough, Samuel.”

Samuel stared at the angels before him and he nearly swore.  He’d spent too much time with Dean lately if that was his first response.  It didn’t help that it was Uriel and Raphael though and his relationship with them had always been awkward.  Samuel didn’t know how to explain his anger at Raphael since the angel hadn’t turned against Castiel in this life.  At least his dislike of Uriel was well reasoned.  He was one of the few that called Samuel a mongrel to his face and though Samuel’s dislike came from older wounds than that, no one questioned it.

“What has?”  Samuel didn’t bother to look at his accuser.  He was more surprised that Castiel was moving solidly to support his position than anything else.  He knew, when pushed, that Castiel would do what he had to do.  He might not always do the right thing, but he would always do what he thought was right.  He was Samuel’s friend and he stood at Samuel’s side against the two, even though Uriel was of his garrison.

“Dean Winchester.  You have meddled in his life for years, Samuel,” Raphael answered.  “It was bad enough when you turned him away from his path and sent him off to college but now you have actually begun to walk the earth with him?”

“Who sent you to stop me, Raphael?” Samuel asked.

The angel’s face turned dark in his anger.

“Exactly,” Samuel answered.  “No one.  God, in all his glory, has not given you the order to make me desist.  He does not care if I interfere with Dean and that’s for one reason.”  Samuel knew there was more than one interpretation for that but he’d learned to lie as a human and he wasn’t above using the skill when the other angels still didn’t know better.  “Dean is far too dangerous a man to be left alone.  His Destiny has been unraveled and though they don’t know why, the demons are drawn to him.  I stay close to Dean to find out what purpose the demons want to use Dean for.”

“We are not fools, Samuel,” Uriel smirked.  “You stay close to Winchester because of who he was.  He is not your brother though.  He is a human and you are an angel.”

“I thought I was just a mongrel?” Samuel asked as he looked at Uriel.

“Samuel,” Castiel warned.

“No, he has said it often enough.  I was not meant to be what I am, but I was strong enough to change my Destiny.  Do you want to know yours Uriel?”

“Samuel, stop.”

Samuel did, but only because Castiel asked it of him.  The Destiny that Samuel knew had been broken and much of what Samuel knew was no longer true.  Uriel had chosen sides in Samuel’s almost-life and he couldn’t forget that though.  He wouldn’t say what he knew about Uriel, not unless such a time came that he feared Uriel would turn on them as he once had, but it was a temptation.

“Fine.  But I have seen a future that you have not.  The demon, Ruby, has plans with Dean and I would not leave him to them.  He is a danger if he could be turned to their side.”

“Samuel is right.  Though Dean no longer has a Destiny, he is an agent of chance.  He is powerful.  His will is strong and his blood commands.  If they turned Dean to the darkness, he could be a darker prince than even the Morningstar’s vessel.”

Raphael looked at Samuel and Castiel and shook his head though what he was arguing with Samuel had no idea.  “I don’t like this obsession you have with the family of your mortal form, brother, but you are right.  We have no orders to stop you and Dean Winchester is a dangerous man.  My concern is this Samuel.  What will you do if Dean cannot be stopped? If he is turned down this dark path, what will you do?”

Samuel grit his teeth but he looked Raphael in the eye so the angel could see the truth of his words.  “I will not let him turn dark.  I will stop that from happening, if I have to bring Hell to heal to do so.”

Samuel could tell his answer unsettled them all but he meant every word.  He would rather become the king of Hell himself than allow Dean to walk the path that Samuel once had.

 

**  
 

“Where were you?”

“What the hell?” Dean asked as he closed the door of the motel room.  He threw his leather jacket on the chair by the table and Samuel let out a deep breath to try to keep his calm. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t start another fight with Dean but the hunter made it very hard at times.

“I went to the bar,” Samuel snapped.  “I thought we could play some pool.  Get some cash before we skip out of town.  Only what do I find?  You sneaking out the back with the blond I saw you with earlier.  You going to tell me that was coincidence again, Dean?  What the hell were you doing with that woman?”

He knew Dean wasn’t being drugged with demon blood.  Ruby hadn’t been able to get that into his system and Samuel was glad enough of that, but Dean still disappeared with her at odd times and he came back looking guilty each time.

“Is this… are you jealous, Sam?” Dean demanded.

Samuel was taken aback by the question.  The idea that he was jealous was preposterous.  Dean was his brother and even if the others didn’t see him that way, Samuel was an angel and Dean was human.  The concept of a relationship against those lines was … was …  
“You can’t even deny it, can you?” Dean asked.  “Well fuck that, Sammy.  Since I met you I’ve tried to figure you out.  One minute you run hot and the next cold.  You want to hunt with me, want to hang out with me and when I finally agree you start running off on your own all the time.  Now you’re going to get pissed at me because someone else finds me interesting?  Fuck you, Sammy.”

“That’s not what this is,” Samuel defended himself.  He wasn’t jealous.  He didn’t think in those sort of human terms, no matter how the idea of Dean with the demon made his skin crawl.

“Then tell me what it is, Sam because I’m at a loss here.  The blond?  That’s hunting business.”

“Then why won’t you tell me what you’re doing?  If it’s just business why are you keeping me in the dark about it?”

“Don’t.  You aren’t forthcoming about where you go Sam and I’ve never pushed.  Hell, you show up one day, stumble on my hunt, and I’ve never once asked you to tell me more than you wanted to say.  What gives you the right to demand anything of me?”

“Because I’m here!” Samuel demanded.  “I am right fucking here Dean and I’m trying to make this work.”

“If you really wanted something, Sammy,” Dean closed the distance between them until he was close enough to touch, “you should have done something about it.”

Samuel took a step back in surprise but as he looked down at Dean his eyes caught the way Dean licked his lips.  He wondered if Ruby had tasted those lips, if she’d dragged her teeth over the plump flesh and swallowed Dean’s moans.  He wondered if she’d seduced Dean the way she once had Samuel.

Dean was his, damn them all.  Dean was his and he wasn’t afraid to tell everyone.  There were a lot of reasons why he shouldn’t take the next step forward but none that mattered in the face of Dean’s fury.  Samuel pushed forward and crushed their lips together.  He brought both hands up to Dean’s face to pull him closer and Dean followed.  His body pressed against Samuel’s and Dean’s fingers dug into the flesh of his hips.

“Dean Winchester, Samuel Wesson,” a voice called into the room.

Dean jumped away from Samuel to turn to face the new intruder but Samuel knew the voice.

“Who the hell are you?” Dean demanded.

“I am here to help you, Dean Winchester.”

“Right, because strange men that show up in my motel room without warning are always here to help.”

Castiel looked at him but Samuel had no idea what to tell him.  He wasn’t sure why Castiel had decided to show himself, or why he had given Samuel’s false name.

“I am Castiel,” the angel said as he looked away from Samuel and turned his attention to Dean.  “I am an angel of the Lord.”

Dean stared up Castiel but then turned back to Samuel and started to laugh.  “Did you hear that, Sam?  An angel?”  Before Samuel could answer, Dean swung around and faced Castiel again.  "You know I used to believe in angels.  I said a prayer every night for someone to watch over my family.  I asked God to forgive me of my sins and to make sure my father, and mother, and little brother were safe.  If you're an angel, then where the hell were you when I was four and demons destroyed my world?"

"God's will is not to be questioned, Dean Winchester."

"Why are you here?" Samuel interrupted.  "What do you want Castiel?"

"I have come to assist you, Samuel.  Heaven has watched the path of hunters before but we have never yet felt the need to walk the Earth with one.  Today has changed much. Demons are planning something and not even the heavens can divine Hell's plot.  It rests on the demon Ruby, and thus have I come to you, Samuel and Dean, to help you stop whatever atrocity the demon seeks."

Samuel was surprised at the words Castiel spoke but even more so that he hasn't revealed Samuel's identity to Dean.  He had no idea what the other angels had planned but Samuel suddenly feared Raphael's influence on his brother.  If it was not the archangel, then why hadn't Castiel mentioned this before?

"Hey, you know I'm as up for a demon hunt as the next hunter but Ruby has been the only one to help me try to stop the demons that have been on my ass for the last year.  No offense Sam, but she helped me before you were around and no matter why you dislike her she saved my ass a few times."

"But why?" Samuel asked.  "Why is a demon helping a hunter?  What does she have to gain?"

"So, what?  You're going to side with the guy who claims to be an angel?"

"I am an angel, Dean," Castiel answered.  The lights in the room flickered and Samuel took a step behind Dean when he realized what Castiel was about to do.  He watched as the angel unfurled his wings and the lights cast a great shadow to give Dean the impression of his true form.  
Samuel huddled into himself more than usual though it would do no good if Dean looked back.  If he looked over his shoulder to Samuel, he’d see his true form in the darkness.  Samuel wasn’t sure Castiel hadn’t shown himself that way in the hopes of showing Samuel’s form but he wanted to think better of his friend.

“I will keep this demon from completing whatever damnable act she attempts.  Do I have your help?”

The lights overhead lit again without the flicker of angelic power and Samuel relaxed as his form was safely hidden again.  “Whatever the demon is trying to do,” Samuel answered before Dean could, “we are trying to stop it too.”

It was going a bit far, saying that Dean was actively trying to stop Ruby, but no matter what else was happening with Dean and Ruby, Samuel knew that his brother didn’t trust the demon entirely.  Dean had never fallen down that same trap that Samuel had.

“We don’t know what Ruby is up to, other than trying to kill some of her own kind to protect me, but I’m not gonna stand by and let her kill innocent people, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Samuel smiled because even though Castiel didn’t remember Dean, he’d found a way past Dean’s initial resistance without the benefits of that former life.  Castiel looked between them and he noticed the way Samuel had drifted closer to Dean.  “Stay focused on the task at hand, Dean Winchester and Samuel Wesson.  I will return to you soon.”

Castiel left and Samuel watched him go with equal amounts of regret and relief.  Castiel hadn’t given away his secret but Dean wouldn’t be easy to handle after this.  Everything was still up in the air since … since he’d kissed Dean.  They needed to face that and then Samuel would figure out what to do about Castiel showing himself as an angel of the Lord.

Dean spun at Castiel’s disappearance and Samuel barely remembered to feign surprise before Dean looked at him.  “Angels and demons?  Getting a little too brimstone and hellfire for me around here,” Dean said as she eyed Samuel.  “You think he’s the real deal?  An angel, for real?”

“What else could it be?”

Dean shook his head.  “Not sure, but I’ll put in a call to my dad and see what he thinks.”

“You really think he’ll give you an answer?  He hasn’t answered a single call since I’ve met you, Dean.”

Dean shrugged as he hit the speed dial.  “Always a first time, Sammy,” he said.  “Besides, Bobby will answer and if there is anything on the radar about angels he’ll know it.”

Samuel listened as Dean left a message for John Winchester and followed it up with a quick call to Bobby.  The call was quick but Bobby promised to try to find something before they could make the drive to his place.

When Dean hung up, Samuel watched the tension in Dean’s shoulders return.  Not for the first time, Samuel thought it was odd that Dean could face an angel of the Lord down but when it came time to dealing with his emotions, he became tense and uncertain.

“Dean?” Samuel took a step closer but he wasn’t sure Dean would welcome his touch.  He knew everything there was to know about his brother but he’d never had to deal with this aspect of the other man.

“So, angel of the Lord.  If that pans out, I guess that means you were right about Ruby.  You don’t have to … do this … to keep me from her Sam.”

Samuel listened, confused for a moment before he realized what Dean meant.  He stepped closer then until he was able to grip Dean’s hip.  He pulled Dean against him and smiled down at him.  No matter how many reasons there were to keep his distance – and he wasn’t a fool to think there was nothing that would stand in their way – Samuel wanted Dean.  He couldn’t help but want to chase their earlier kisses with more.  He wanted to taste and feel and explore every bit of Dean that he’d never been allowed to in his other life.

“Not trying to keep you from anything, Dean,” Samuel confessed, “I’m just trying to keep you with me.  I don’t want you to leave my side, not for any reason.”

Dean searched his face for some answer and he must have found it because he smiled as he brought his hand up around Samuel’s neck and pulled him down into a deep kiss.  It was a lot longer before they reached Bobby’s than they’d planned, but Samuel thought it was well worth it and from the amused smirk from Dean, the other hunter more than agreed.

 **

The last two days had been hectic to say the least.  Dean had gotten a call from some strange kid looking for John Winchester.  He claimed to be his son and Dean had learned the truth about Adam Milligan.  They got to Adam’s home before Samuel’s memories could come to pass.  In a world without Samuel, the relationship between John Winchester and Kate Milligan had changed and when she died, Adam called his unknown brother instead of trying to avoid the father he barely knew.  
  
The house was modest but well-kept as they walked up the sidewalk.  When the door opened Dean stared at the younger man and Samuel could see his body tense even further than it had been.  The young man who opened the door didn't look any more at ease than Dean did. They stared at one another without saying anything before Samuel decided to break the silence.  
  
"Hi, I'm Sam Wesson," he said as he offered a hand for Adam to shake.  He had to reach around Dean to do it and Adam eyed the protective stance Dean took as they shook.  
  
"Adam Milligan.  You must be Dean," he said as he pulled his hand away from Samuel's.  
  
"Must be."  
  
Samuel wanted to kick Dean but he reined in his temper.  Adam had been through a lot and the last thing he needed was Dean's attitude.  
  
"Come on in," Adam said as he turned to walk back into the house.  
  
Samuel followed Dean through the door.  He didn't know what Dean saw as he walked in but Samuel was surprised by the small changes he saw from the other life.  The house was the same that Samuel and Dean had once followed their half-brother into but the couch wasn't threadbare and old.  Whatever changes had happened for Adam in this world, his mother had been better off for it.  
  
"Anyone else need a beer?" Adam asked as he left them sitting in the living room. He came back with three bottles and Sam took one with a grateful smile.  Dean just took a log pull off his.  
  
"I didn't know what else to do," Adam said quietly as he stared at the bottle in his hands.  "I tried to get hold of John but all I got was his voice mail.  It said to call you if there was an emergency.  I get that you probably didn't expect a call from me-"  
  
Dean let out a sharp, bitter laugh.  "A call from the brother I never knew I had?  Yeah, I wasn't expecting that."  
  
"He didn't tell you?"  Adam looked surprised and Samuel realized then that Adam knew about Dean already.  
  
"No, Dad never said anything," Dean answered.  
  
Adam looked away before he took a long pull on his beer bottle.  "I'm sorry.  I didn't know.  I assumed you knew and just didn't want to, you know?  I shouldn't have called."  
  
"No Adam, you did the right thing," Samuel answered before Adam could regret meeting Dean.  He might not have any idea who Samuel was, but Samuel remembered the rebellious young man, the young man they'd met after his death and before he was forced to become the Michael Sword against Samuel's Lucifer.  
  
Dean was a good brother and Samuel could see that the two would get along well if they were given the opportunity.  He hadn't thought of it before but his death and birth as an angel had given them this chance.  He was enormously proud of this unforeseen meeting.  
  
"Why did you call?" Dean asked.  "Why didn't you just wait for Dad?"  
  
"It's probably nothing but John always said it was better safe than sorry.  He seemed... paranoid almost ... about our safety.  He was just a one night thing to mom but he was nice to her when he came around.  Always asked about her too.  When she died ... it was an odd way to die and I thought about calling then but after the funeral I started to notice things.  Strange things that John always asked about.  When I noticed someone following me, I called."  
  
"How did she die?"  
  
"Animal attack.  She was at the cemetery.  She goes once a month to put flowers on her husband's grave.  Someone found her but the guy said an animal was trying to drag her body away.  They never found the animal."  
  
"I'm sorry," Dean said softly.  
  
Adam just shrugged.  "The house is quiet without her, you know?  It just feels like someone is missing.  Then when I came home from the funeral it felt different."  
  
"Different how?" Samuel asked.  
  
"Like someone else was here.  I tried to call John and then I called Dean."  
  
"You did the right thing," Dean confirmed.  "I'm not sure where Dad is holed up right now but as soon as he's clear of it he'll get here.  
  
"So you don't think I'm crazy for getting spooked?" Adam asked bitterly.  He's obviously talked to someone else who thought so.  
  
"Like you said, better safe than sorry.  Did Dad ever tell you why he was so worried about your safety?"  
  
"He said he looked into things, the sort of things most people don't believe in.  Like a PI of sorts.  It's why he moved around so much."  
  
"A PI?" They all turned as Ruby walked into the room.  As surprised as Samuel was to see her, he was more surprised to see Uriel at her back.  "Well, John Winchester has always been a dick."  
  
"Ruby, what the hell are you doing here?"  
  
"You don't write, Dean, you don't return my calls any more.  What's a girl to think?"  
  
"You had something to do with this?"  
  
"I wouldn't dirty my hands by working with a ghoul, Dean," Ruby replied.  "A girl does know when opportunity knocks though and this was just too much to resist.  Of course I didn't think Adam here would call his big brother, not when he's avoided that call for seven years.  I should have known better.  You Winchesters are always a pain in the ass."  
  
"You have no idea," Samuel answered as memories of his not-lived life surfaced.  This wasn't how it had happened before but there was a thrill at being by Dean's side against Ruby time.  
  
"Do not speak in my presence, Mongrel." Uriel glared at Samuel.  
  
"You stand beside a demon and you dare cast aspersions at me?" He answered back.  
  
"You destroyed all that was to be," Uriel sneered.  "We had a purpose and you destroyed that glory.  If God will not end you for that then I will.  And I will find a way to bring that Destiny back to the heavens."  
  
"That Destiny was the apocalypse!" Samuel shouted.  "How could you want the end of days?"  
  
"Sammy?"  
  
"Oh, poor Dean, didn't Sam tell you anything?"  Ruby asked. Dean didn't answer but he glanced at Samuel.  His eyes widened and Samuel knew his brother had read the guilt on his face.  
  
"It took a while to understand what you were Sam, but I figured it out.  Not quite human, not a demon, not an angel.  You were a puzzle I couldn't put together until my friend Uriel joined the cause and he told me everything.  Gotta be honest.  I knew Dean wouldn't mind banging an angel, but I never would have thought he'd bed his baby brother."  
  
"I don’t know what you think is happening but I just met Adam," Dean said though his voice was confused as he looked between Samuel and Ruby.  
  
It was Uriel who answered before Dean could.  "So the mongrel didn't bother to tell you?  Afraid of what he would think of you Samuel?  Afraid that your big brother would see you as the freak that you are?"  
  
"Leave Dean out of this," Samuel demanded.  
  
"It is all about him now, Sam," Ruby answered.  "After all, he has the same blood that ran in your veins, doesn't he?  Same stage, same characters, but just a little recasting."  
  
"No.  You can't."  
  
Ruby smiled.  "You took yourself out of the game, Sammy so we had to improvise. You might have killed yourself to keep from becoming Lucifer's Vessel but you left the way clear for Dean."  
  
"Lucifer?  What the hell are you on Lady?" Adam asked.  
  
“The story, as heaven tells it,” Ruby said with a grin, “is that the demon Azazel went to the Winchester house one night.  Years before Mary Winchester, in a desperate move, made a deal with a demon to save the man she loved.  All he asked was that when he came back, she did nothing.  She had no way of knowing that what the demon wanted was her youngest child.”  
  
“Stop,” Dean demanded.  
  
Ruby just smiled.  “Mary died to try to protect her son, but little Sammy Winchester wasn’t so easy to take.  He saw heaven’s destiny, the life he was supposed to live, and he called the demon’s fire into himself.  He burned himself and Azazel until they were nothing more than a nasty grease stain on the floor.”  
  
Ruby stepped forward and Sam moved between her and Dean.  She smiled as she ran a hand up his arm and began to circle him.  “That’s not the end of it though, because Sammy wasn’t entirely human.  He was born to be Lucifer’s vessel so when his body died, Sam took his grace and went to heaven.”  
  
“That’s not true,” Dean said quietly.  “Sammy died and that’s the end of the story.  He wasn’t some demon’s prodigy.  He was just a baby.”  
  
“Leave them alone, demon,” Castiel entered the room and Ruby took a step back from Samuel.  “Uriel, this is madness, to take a demon’s side.”  
  
“The apocalypse was supposed to set us free Castiel,” Uriel answered him.  “Dean and Sam Winchester were the vessels and Michael and Lucifer were set to show themselves at last.  We have waited too long for their return.  We can have it!  We can make this happen!  
  
“How?”  
  
“Adam is the Michael Sword and Dean the vessel of Lucifer.  Can’t you see that?”  
  
“Both of them would have to say yes to that Destiny and Dean is far from capable of holding Lucifer as he is,” Castiel answered.  
  
“Oh, but what would Dean do to keep his Daddy safe?” Ruby asked.  “Don’t you think it’s funny he didn’t call, Dean?  When your new brother was in trouble?  Don’t you think he would have answered if he could?”  
  
“What did you do with my father?”  
  
Ruby smiled.  “He’s safe Dean.  I’ve made sure of that.  He’ll stay that way until you do what I ask.  And when you say yes, and Lucifer walks the world again, I’ll let him free.”  
  
“You’re all crazy,” Adam said from the corner of the room.  
  
“And what would you do to see your mother again, Adam?” Uriel asked.  “I am an angel of the Lord and I can bring her back for you.  I can give your mother life.”  
  
“What?  That’s not … how could you?”  
  
“No, I will not let you use them like this,” Samuel demanded.  “I did not stop the apocalypse to have you bring it about now.”  
  
“Not here to ask, Sammy,” Ruby said.  As she smiled, the door behind them opened and two more demons came into the room.  
  
“Sammy?” Dean reached back for Adam to see where his brother was and Samuel left Dean to take care of him.  He didn’t have time to answer the questions in Dean’s one word.  
  
“Uriel, I will not allow you to help this demon,” Castiel said as he stepped up to Samuel’s side.  “We have fought in many battles together.  There is still time to choose the right side.”  
  
“There isn’t a right side anymore Castiel.  Samuel ruined that for us when he defied his Destiny.  He ruined it for us when he let Dean Winchester free of his own.  You know that better than most.  You can still feel it, can’t you?  The call of duty that you can’t perform?”  
  
Castiel sighed but Samuel knew the truth of it.  He had for as long as he’d understood what his choice had done to the angels.  “I would gladly live with that ache forever rather than see Lucifer walk the world again Uriel.”  
  
“Have you no faith in your brother, Michael?”  
  
“What you don’t understand Uriel, what you never understood of what Samuel tried to teach us, was that no one should have to walk onto the battlefield to kill his brother.  It was a Destiny that should never have been.  It was a Destiny that Sam and Dean Winchester would have defied.  I believe that God wanted the Winchesters to teach us this lesson.”  
  
“They have nothing to teach us!” Uriel yelled as he lunged towards Castiel.  It set the others in motion and Samuel looked back at Dean in time to see the demon killing blade in his hand.  He left Dean to his work then and faced off against the other demons.  He slapped the first one back against the wall to focus on the one before him.  The demon wasn’t used to fighting an angel though and he dropped his guard long enough for Samuel to bring his hand up to his forehead.  He pushed the demon out of the body it possessed and said a silent prayer for the body as it dropped to the floor.  He didn’t have time to check on it yet to see if the demon’s victim had survived.  
  
The other demon faced Samuel and it was a stronger creature than the other had been.  When Samuel moved forward it dodged efficiently and kept out of Samuel’s arm reach.  When Samuel moved to one side, the creature slashed with a knife on the other, leaving a small trail of blood to flow down Samuel’s arm.  Dean was holding his own against Ruby,  and Uriel and Castiel were battling in ways that Samuel had never wanted to see.  No matter who his brothers were, he’d never wanted to see any of them fight.  
  
Samuel reached for the demon and it spun just in time to get caught in the arms of a newcomer.  Samuel didn’t waste time wondering about his appearance, but brought his hand up and forced the demon from the human in John Winchester’s arms.  
  
“Dad!” Dean called over the fight but he didn’t divert his attention from Ruby for long.  She had an advantage over him but Dean didn’t let her get far.  The proximity of three angels kept her demonic powers from working the way she was used to and she had to rely on her fighting skills.  
  
As Ruby backed away from Dean, Samuel caught her arms and as Dean pushed forward, the blade of the demon killing knife slid into her heart.  Samuel let her drop just in time to turn and see Castiel pull an angel killing blade from Uriel’s chest.  
  
“Castiel?” Samuel stepped towards his brother and stopped as the angel looked at him.  
  
“How many years has it been since an angel killed another, Samuel?” he asked as he stared at the knife in his hands.  
  
“He was the one that brought the cursed blade, Castiel,” Samuel tried to comfort him.  “He might not have meant to use it on you, but he intended to kill an angel with it today.”  
  
Castiel nodded before he gave Samuel a small smile.  “He should have known it wouldn’t work on our mongrel angel.”  
  
Samuel stepped closer to Castiel but then the demon’s victims began to stir and Castiel and Samuel set to clearing what wounds they could.  One of them was already dead but the other two were saved.  Samuel erased their memories of what had happened while they were possessed and Castiel transported them away to the nearest hospital for further treatment.  
  
When he left, Samuel was faced with Dean and his family.  John Winchester didn’t say anything to Samuel but it was obvious he could see the anger in Dean’s stance.  Adam seemed confused about all of it but he looked to Dean for a clue on how to behave and Samuel was glad of that at least.  They hadn’t gotten a chance to know Adam in the life he remembered but Dean had the chance now and Adam already trusted Dean.  
  
“John, Ruby seemed to think you wouldn’t be coming,” he said to try to figure out where the man had come from.  
  
“Yeah, well she had me tied up for the last two weeks.  I heard her talking to someone about coming to see my son.  When I got free, I got access to my voicemail and heard Adam’s message and figured she was headed here.”  
  
“You have good timing,” Samuel said with a small smile.  
  
“I was lucky.  You boys looked like you had it handled pretty well when I came in.”  
  
Dean let out a grunt but John turned to look at Adam.  “Are you ready to go, son?”  
  
Samuel  realized then that while he and Castiel had seen to the demon’s victims that John had made plans with his sons.  
  
Adam nodded and Samuel frowned at the two of them.  “Let me pack a few things and I’ll be ready.”  
  
When Adam left the room John looked at Dean.  “He’ll be safe at Bobby’s until we can get him trained up.  He knows a little but not enough to help him.”  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Dean demanded.  
  
John let out a deep breath, “Dean-”  
  
“You know what, nevermind,” Dean said with a shake of his head.   “I’ve had too many secrets today.  “I’ll make sure Adam’s ready before anything else comes after him,” Dean answered before he turned and walked out of the house.  
  
John let him go and Samuel watched as well.  Samuel knew Dean well enough to know he was too pissed to talk to just yet.  He was mad at John and mad at him and there was no telling how long it would take until he was able to discuss what he’d learned.  
  
“Looks like you need a ride,” John said to Samuel as the impala engine roared out front before it spun away.  
  
Samuel shook his head as Adam came back into the room.  “Dean will meet you at Bobby’s.  He’s going to want to train Adam himself before he lets him out of his sight.”  He smiled at Adam as he offered him his hand.  “It was good to meet you Adam.”  
  
Adam took the hand and looked up at him.  “What they said?  Who you are?”  
  
“I’m an angel, not like them, but I am what I am.”  
  
Adam smiled.  “Just glad you’re on my side, big brother.”  
  
Samuel looked down in shock but Adam just continued to smile.  “See you soon, right?”  
  
“Yeah, yeah I’ll be keeping an eye on you.”  
  
“Is that what angels do?  Keep an eye out for people?  Because I gotta admit, it looks like these guys are shit at their job.”  
  
Samuel laughed as he let go of Adam’s hand.  “Yeah, they really are.  I’ll check in after you get settled at Bobby’s.”  
  
John didn’t ask and Samuel figured he’d planned on picking Adam and Dean’s brain until he figured out what the hell Samuel was, but he was smart enough to leave an ally alone.  When they walked out the door Samuel made sure fresh salt was laid out over all the doors and windows, added a protective sigil or two just in case, and let go of his mortal form to wander the heavens freely for a while.  It might have been refreshing if he didn’t know he was simply waiting for Dean Winchester to call to him again.  
  
**  
  
“Come on out, you son of a bitch!”  
  
Samuel sighed because the last thing he wanted to do was show up when Dean had been drinking but he refused to ignore his brother the first time he called.  Dean was in the middle of nowhere, sitting under the stars with a cooler and a sour disposition.  
  
“Dean, not tonight, please,” Samuel asked as he walked into the clearing.  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“I don’t want to do this when you’re drunk.”  
  
“Well I sure as hell don’t want to do this sober,” Dean countered.  
  
“What do you want me to say Dean?”  
  
“The truth.”  
  
Samuel let out a deep sigh as he looked at Dean.  “I love you, Dean.  No other truth matters to me.”  
  
Dean laughed bitterly before he took another swig from the bottle.  “It matters to me, so why don’t you tell me what they were talking about Sammy?”  
  
“Alright.  It’s true.  What Ruby and Uriel were saying was all true.  I was born human.  My name was Samuel Winchester and I died when I was six months old.”  Dean let out a choked sob but Samuel continued.  As much as he wanted to go to Dean and offer comfort he knew Dean wouldn’t allow it.  
“When the demon stood over me, I could see everything, Dean.  The whole life flashing before your eyes thing?  I saw all of it and I made a lot of mistakes Dean.  We both did.  You sacrificed everything for me and when you ran into the room, four years old and already willing to throw yourself into the room to try to protect me, I couldn’t let it happen.  I knew I could stop it and I did.  I died.  Samuel Winchester died.  That wasn’t the end though because we were supposed to have a Destiny, Dean.  You and I, we were the vessels to Michael and Lucifer and we were supposed to start the apocalypse.  My body was meant to hold an angel and when I died, I became one.”  
  
“So when I die I’ll become an angel too?” Dean scoffed.  
  
Samuel shook his head.  “I was an innocent, Dean.  A child too close to heaven already.  It was a circumstance that not even God had foreseen.  I’ve watched over you since then, Dean.”  
  
“Ruby?”  
  
“The life I saw, she seduced me.  You were gone and I was lost and she used my guilt and hopelessness to make me into something that you would never have allowed.  When I saw her take an interest in you, I became … concerned.  The night I met you, she tried to put demon blood in your drink.”  
  
“What the hell?”  
  
“Demon blood is addictive.  It purged my mortal form and made my body strong enough to hold the Morningstar.”  
  
“Wait, you’re saying that you actually became Lucifer?  That I became Michael?”  
  
“There was a plan to stop the apocalypse.  I said yes to Lucifer but the angels realized you would never say yes to Michael.  They raised Adam from the dead to use him instead.”  
  
“He died?”  
  
“In another life, he didn’t call you.    He died at the hands of the same ghouls who killed his mother.”  
  
Dean shook his head.  “What the hell kind of life did we live, Sammy?”  
  
Samuel didn’t have the words for the grief and pain that they’d endured.  “We had each other, Dean.  It was all we had.  As many times as we messed up, as many times as we fell, we always came back to each other.”  
  
“And now?” Dean demanded.  “What am I supposed to do now, Sam?  You’re my brother?  You knew and you still … you’re an angel and you … What the hell am I supposed to do?”  
  
Samuel knew it was the wrong time but he couldn’t stop himself from closing the distance between them.  As soon as he touched Dean, his brother pushed him away.  “Don’t touch me, Sam.  Don’t … just … leave me alone.  I can’t think when you’re around.”  
  
“Dean, please,”  
  
“Just go, Sam.  When I see you it makes me sick.  You knew and you didn’t tell me.  You were my brother and I touched you and …. I can’t even think about anything else right now.  Just leave.”  
  
“Dean, I’m sorry.  I never meant for this to happen.”  
  
Dean didn’t answer.  He just slid down the side of the impala and Samuel walked to the tree line and disappeared from sight.  He wouldn’t leave Dean, couldn’t leave him unguarded as he was, but he gave Dean the illusion of privacy to deal with his pain.  Samuel just hoped that eventually Dean would let him try to rebuild some kind of relationship between them.  
  
**  
  
After everything else that had happened, Samuel wasn’t surprised when Dean pulled the impala over on the side of the road and parked it behind a set of trees.  It was a secluded lane that led to a fallen barn.  It’d been three months since Sam’s confession.  Dean had left Bobby’s the day before and Adam’s training was well underway.  Adam didn’t have the drive to be a hunter but he took the semester off school to grieve for his mother’s death and then the summer would come and between them, Bobby, John and Dean would get Adam trained well enough to protect himself.  
  
Dean got out of the car and settled on the edge of the hood.  “Come on Sam.  I know you’re watching.”  
  
Sam didn’t make him wait.  He stepped out of the tree line and let Dean see him.  “Hello, Dean.  I wasn’t sure you wanted to see me here.”  
  
Dean let out a small huff.  “Yeah, well neither was I.  Damn it, Sam, am I just supposed to go back on the road, hunting by myself?  When I left Lisa and Ben I was okay with that because I knew how rough it was to be on the road.  I couldn’t keep them in my life when something could follow me home and I wouldn’t let anyone else into this life.  But what now, when I got used to having a hunting partner?  Am I supposed to bunk up with him and Bobby and his shiny new son, Adam?  Am I supposed to-?”  
  
Dean’s voice broke and Sam took a step closer to him but Dean put his hands up.  “Am I supposed to forget everything about you now?  I don’t want to forget you Sam.  I don’t care what you said.  You may be an angel but I can’t forget that you were my baby brother.  I still have nightmares about that night Sam, about the way you looked at me before the fire took you.  I can’t forget what you did, or why you did it.  I just … how am I supposed to live with myself after what we did?”  
  
“It’s not like Uriel and Ruby said it was, Dean,” Sam’s voice was quieter than he wanted but he couldn’t seem to make himself speak louder.  
  
“No?  What is it then, Sam?  Because I could give a rat’s ass about you being an angel and me being a human.  They want to run around upstairs with a prejudicial stick shoved up their ass, then more power to ‘em.  But you being my brother?  That’s something else entirely.”  
  
“You would never have known if Uriel hasn’t said something, Dean, because there is nothing wrong with who we are.  I have spent my whole life, on earth and in Heaven, loving you and I don’t regret a minute of it.”  
  
“You should have told me Sam!”  
  
“Really Dean?  Because it took Bobby and lot of research before you would believe in angels in the first place.  Were you ever going to believe I was your dead baby brother, turned angel because I’d seen too much but still had the power of Lucifer’s vessel?”  
  
“Stop it Sam.”  
  
“It’s who I am Dean.  I won’t be less.  I wouldn’t let the angels make me less than the Winchester I was born and I won’t let you either.  I have loved you my whole life and I have watched you at every turn, whispered in your ear when you needed me, and stood by your side each and every day.”  
  
Sam took a chance then because Dean looked so damn vulnerable.  “I’m the one that knows best how to touch you Dean, how to make you shiver in need, or how to help you close out the world and forget about the weight you carry.”  He stepped forward and let one hand grip Dean’s hipbone as he moved in between Dean’s legs.  “I’m the one that has tormented you in every Destiny you’ve ever known and the only one you’ve trusted in all of them.  You love me, Dean.  In different ways at different times, but you love me, even if you never say it.”  
  
“Sam,” Dean whispered.  
  
He leaned closer then, his lips a breath away from Dean’s.  “I don’t want to keep living without you, Dean.  I don’t want to go back to the shadows of your life.  I need to be at your side.  I need to be in your life and in your bed.  Please, don’t send me away, Dean.”  
  
Dean was the one that closed the distance between them.  Sam didn’t think the fight was really over – Dean could drag out a fight as long as Samuel’s angelic brothers ever could – but the pressure of Dean’s lips on his was enough to make him moan.  
  
“In the car Sam, now.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Gonna take this someplace where I can lay you out, Sam, torture you the way my memories have tortured me over the last three months.”  
  
“I can get us there faster than the impala, Dean,” Samuel said with a small smile.  
  
“Do it.”  
  
He wrapped an arm around Dean to pull him closer and he felt the world shift around him.  When he opened his eyes they were in a hotel.  He’d brought the impala as well and it was parked safely in the lot of the luxury hotel Sam had chosen.  
  
Dean looked around with wide eyes and Samuel smiled.  “I thought we deserved a little something special,” Sam said.  “Mostly I just wanted someplace with room service so I could keep you to your promise.”  
  
“Oh yeah?”  
  
“Not letting you out of this room for a long time, Dean.”  
  
He crushed their lips together then and Dean didn’t waste time as he started to push Samuel’s button up off his shoulders.  Samuel did the same and they only broke the kiss long enough to remove their clothing.  When Dean pushed Samuel back onto the bed, Samuel reached up for his brother, for his lover, and Dean followed him down onto the bed.  
  
Dean kissed and bit and marked his way across Samuel’s body, but every time Samuel reached for Dean, his lover pushed his hands up over his head and held him there until Samuel relaxed.  He never said a word but Samuel let Dean have the control he needed.  
  
There was nothing fast or desperate in the way Dean touched Samuel, but a constant sense of awe and contentment that Samuel had never felt from Dean before.  Each shift of his hands was deliberate, every caress of his fingers a moment of gratitude and love that Samuel didn’t deserve.  He had never, in either life, earned Dean’s love.  No one could earn the depth of emotion that Dean was so capable of, but Samuel promised himself that he would make certain Dean knew it was reciprocated, every day of his life.  Dean would never doubt what Samuel felt and he would never have to feel alone.  
  
“Dean, please,” he begged as his lover’s fingers filled him, stretched him wide open.  He had been ready for Dean for a long time now but Dean seemed to be content to just touch and play and torment him with need.  His voice broke as he begged and Dean smiled wickedly at the sound of it.  
  
“Do you need something, Sammy?” he asked as he leaned up until one arm held him over Samuel’s body, his eyes still down as he watched his fingers as they moved in and out of Samuel.  
  
“You Dean,” Samuel answered.  “Please, I need you.”  
  
His fingers left Samuel’s body and he could feel the press of Dean’s cock against his hole.  He moaned at the feeling but Dean didn’t enter him yet.  “What kind of a fucked up angel needs his brother like this Sammy?” Dean asked.  
  
Samuel wanted to say so many things but Dean’s wicked chuckle made him look up at Dean.  His brother pushed into his body then and Samuel moaned Dean’s name at the stretch and burn of it.  Dean brought their hands together and he entwined their fingers as he began to pump in and out of Samuel’s body.  
  
“The world thinks Samuel Winchester is dead,” Dean said softly, “but I will never forget who you are, Sam.  I will never forget what you did for me and what you became.  I will never stop loving my little brother and I will never stop loving the man, the angel that you became.”  
  
When Dean freed one hand and wrapped it around Samuel’s cock, he barely stroked Samuel before his seed spilled between them.  He covered Dean’s hand and the warm splash of liquid coated their stomachs as Dean continued to thrust into him.  
  
“Love you, Dean,” Samuel whispered the words.  He was afraid to say them too loudly, afraid to break the reverence between them but Dean’s eyes closed as he said it and his hips faltered as he came inside Samuel’s body.  
  
Dean’s head dropped down and he rested his forehead against Samuel’s as they shared breathed.  When Dean finally pulled away, Samuel turned to his side and curled into Dean as he lay on his back.  He thought his brother might fall to sleep then, but Dean’s fingers traced a path up and down Samuel’s back for long minutes and never faltered.  
  
“So why did you do what you did, Sam, looking after me?  I mean, of all the other angels you’re the only one that acts like an angel should.”  
  
Sam laughed as he let his head rest of Dean’s shoulder.  In the morning, Dean would give him hell for staying so close but it was worth the teasing to stay in his arms.  “Funny thing is I shouldn’t be what I am.  Humans made up the idea of guardian angels.  You’ve met my brothers.  As you like to say, they’re a bunch of douchebags, but they serve a higher purpose.  To them the whole of humanity is worth more than a single life.  It’s what they could never understand about humanity that made the humans so amazing in the first place; the ability to place a single life above the whole.  Castiel was as close to a guardian as you were supposed to get and his job was to raise you out of hell and make certain you became the Michael Sword.”  
  
“What the hell?  What sort of life did you see us leading Sam?”  
  
Sam shook his head and refused to budge when Dean tried to pull away.  “It was a hard life but we got it right in the end though.  But Castiel was the closest thing you had to a protector.  It’s why he still looks after you.  You were released from your fate but Castiel wasn’t.  He does the best he can and he’d been a good friend to me because of that.”  
  
“He doesn’t hold you responsible for changing Destiny or whatever that shit was Uriel went off about?”  
  
“He does, but when I explained to him everything that I saw, he agreed that I had to do what I did.  We never lived that life, but I remember it anyway and after everything you did for me, Dean, I couldn’t leave you to face the world alone.”  He paused for a moment because he knew the next question would be touchy.  “Do you remember what Mom used to say to you before bedtime?”  
  
“Yeah,” Dean said quietly.  “She used to tell me that angels were watching over me.”  
  
“Exactly.  And when I became an angel with no Destiny to guide me, I decided to do what Mom couldn’t.  She wasn’t there to look after you anymore and the angels weren’t going to help, so I because the angel that humans so often think us to be.  A guardian angel who looks out for people.”  
  
“Do you look after more than me?”  
  
Sam smiled as he leaned up on one elbow.  “There are a few I keep an eye on, but not like you.”  
  
“And you still do?  Even though we’ve been hunting?”  
  
“I don’t sleep Dean.  At night I lie in bed and cast my thoughts out to them to make sure they’re doing okay.”  
  
“Who are they?”  
  
“People that were important to us.  A boy named Kevin.  A girl named Jessica.  Another we knew by the name of Charlie.    Lisa and Ben.  Hunters like Bobby and Tamara and Ellen.”  
  
“Sounds like more than a few.”  
  
“Ask me some time and I’ll tell you the story Dean.  Maybe not all of it, but the good parts. No one could help but fall in love with the hero.  He was brave and trustworthy, honest when he could be and open to people who needed him.  He let the weight of the world rest on his shoulders and in the end, he stood proud under the pressure and never faltered.  He made the ultimate sacrifice.”  
  
“I died?”  
  
Sam ran his hand down his brother’s face and gave him a small smile.  “No, I did and you let me.  I came back, later, but you didn’t know I would – that I could.  I died and to you that was the ultimate sacrifice.”  
  
“I would never let that happen,” Dean demanded.  
  
“You did, because you loved me enough to let me do it.  You helped me to defeat the apocalypse and thought it should have been the end of our story, it wasn’t.  I loved you Dean, loved you so damn much that I changed the world for you.  As I watched you grow, it never went away, the memories or the ache of those days.  I’m not your brother anymore.  I’m an angel and you’re a human and I still love you.  Not the same as Sam Winchester, kid brother did, but as Samuel the angel does.”  
  
“Sammy,” Dean’s voice broke quietly and Sam silenced him with a kiss.  Dean didn’t need to say the words.  Sam had always known his love.  Sam knew there would be more fights to come, but Sam looked forward to it.  He had all the time in the world to teach his brother what love really was and he had the patience to do it.  
  
The heavens would fight him, but Castiel was on his side and Sam knew that there would never be a cause so noble and so worth the sacrifice as the love of this man.  
  
He’d changed the fate of the world for it.  A fall from grace was a small price to pay.  


End file.
